On contention in friendship

Alright, I’m normally not the biggest fan of making legitimate blog posts over my phone, but I’m presently on the 61D heading to work and figured that this would be a great time to, you know, actually update.

I ended up having a conversation with one of my closer friends last night that pretty much culminated last night with her making some willfully ignorant statements that just made me scratch my head and blatantly tell her that I wonder why we’ve been friends a long as we have. We were actually pretty quick to end our mini argument and get back onto good terms, but it did make me do a lot of thinking nonetheless. Particularly in terms of what factors lead me to seek out and maintain friendships with certain people. I’m fairly certain that the most important traits in a friendship, for me at least, are intelligence, an open mind, a lack of self-absorption, drive and motivation for self-improvement, and a sense of humor. Clearly these traits are a lot more difficult to find in one package than one  would assume because, honestly, only one person really comes to mind when thinking of this laundry list of traits.

That’s of course not to belittle the friends I have who aren’t possessive of all of those traits, but it does answer questions in regard to why some of my friendships are much more contentious than others. And, let’s not lie, here, it also explains why I’m such a rabid introvert 99% of the time; I’d simply rather preserve my sanity by not forcing myself to tolerate things which greatly frustrate me for very little in return.

As for the friendship which spurred this little reflection? The thinking I’ve done as a result of our little spat had made me realize that I’m really not too thrilled with said friend for a host of other reasons, so I need to decide what I’m going to do on that one, I suppose. Probably tactfully mentioning out is the best strategy because I don’t think any of the behaviors which are bothering me are intentional.

This is legit the longest block of text I’ve ever written on a phone, thank you, Swype!

One thought on “On contention in friendship

  1. I’ve been typing daily journals of my trip here, and I did not realize how annoying typing that much on a phone gets. I wish I had brought a journal.

    But I realized as I was reading your list of desired qualities in a friend that I’ve never made a list for that. Hell, I could hardly make a list of everything I want in a job or boyfriend, so I don’t see why friend should be easier. It’s an interesting mind exercise, though.that and ‘what traits are instant no-go’s’ ….

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