Uninspired-Musings

This week has been all over the place for me. I normally loathe the “life is a rollercoaster” cliche, but it’s pretty apt at current moment.  Nothing particularly terrible has happened, but I have had a lot of shitty realizations dawn upon me which, in tandem with a lot of professional stress, has led to some less than desirable emotions. Rather than rehash all of these stupid events and feelings in a public-facing space, I’ll just say I have been having a rough go at it emotionally lately.

That said, some good things have happened and some other good things are on the horizon:

1.) I re-installed Ubuntu earlier this week! I just got sort of bored/fed up with Windows and went for it on a complete and total whim and I couldn’t be happier with the decision (for now at least). I last attempted to become a “serious” Linux user about 5 or 6 years ago (dual boot of Windows and Ubuntu) and I just…wasnt into it. I’m not sure if Ubuntu has come a long way in the past decade or if I have. Either way, it’s been shiny and nice and new and I haven’t been so compelled to sit up all night in front of my computer tweaking shit that doesn’t matter in years. It’s like being in high school again!

2.) A small group of friends and I went to RennFest last Saturday and it was great. Hands down one of the best trips to the Faire I’ve had over the past fifteen years (!!)  that I’ve been going. The rain kept most of the crowds away, my outfit was adorable (pink gauzey dress, grey studded boots), the food was divine, and most importantly, it was great just wandering around with my friends,  and meeting some of one of my friend’s coworkers. It was a nice break from reality and I look forward to going back next month. 

3.) We have had some delicious low temperatures lately. Fall is less than a week away and the evenings certainly feel that way. Soon it will be the season for heavy sweaters and deep-scented candles. Short, cold days and long dark nights are what I live for. There are also potentially three Halloween parties on the horizon this year!

4.) Speaking of parties, one I’m planning and one I’m co-planning are on the horizon as well (early December and next weekend respectively). I am excited about the prospect of them both!

5.) I have been back in closer touch with one of my oldest, closest friends now that her crazy summer work hours are over. We’ve been friends so long that we can go stupidly long periods of time without talking and feel no negative impact in the long term, but it’s been nice to be back to talking on a regular basis.

6.) A warning light turned on in my car on Monday; what could have been aa very expensive repair turned out to just be low tire pressure.Hooray, easy fixes!

So yeah, some things have been going poorly, and maybe I will write about them at some point soon, but a lot of things are working out in my favor and for now, that’s enough for me right now.

Two entries in one day, what is this blasphemy!? It’s almost like the old Livejournal days when I pretty much blogged any and everything that ever happened to me.

Anyway, I just got back from eating/gaming/hanging out with friends, both old and new, close and casual, for almost seven hours and it was really nice. I admittedly I am not always the most social person on the planet: I am an introvert and value my down time immensely, but when I do socialize, it can be…nice. At one point tonight, a bunch of us were sitting around the table eating dinner and it felt like a family dinner in the best way possible. I am glad that I know so many amazing, nerdy people. There is serenity in solitude, but there is comfort in the midst of a tribe. Somehow I ended up in a position in life and in mind where, on the luckiest of days, I am able to move back and forth between both effortlessly.

I do not always do a great job of vocalizing my gratitude for (or to) the people in my life, but I would be entirely remiss if I didn’t, at least once in awhile, stop and think “holy shit, I am one lucky asshole.”

I am not good at this consistency thing, am I?

On the bright side, I have been doing a lot better, both physically and mentally, since I last wrote. A lot of the old habits I found myself wistfully lusting over have found their way back to me and I have started logging my food intake and measuring my physical activity again; I did this consistently for over a year and a half during my early 20s and it’s something I really missed so I am glad to have finally re-established the pattern. Overall, I feel like I simply make decisions that are better for my overall health when I’m actively holding myself accountable. Aside from being more engaged in my physical health, I have continued to indulge myself in reading with the same level of ferocity that I did during those halcyon college years and it has once again proved to be an amazing respite from the real world.

Rebuilding all of these old habits hasn’t been easy, but it has been worth it. I’m still not 100% of the way to where I would like to be, but I’m continually inching closer to matching my behavioral reality up to my behavioral ideal. Once I feel like I’m more stable in my effective use of my free time and my health habits, I think the next thing I’ll move onto tackling will be realigning myself financially: it’s been awhile since I’ve looked at my budget and savings/debt management habits in earnest, so I suppose it’s time to do that.

My little life optimization project aside, I am keenly awaiting falling temperatures. I am ready for long nights, short days and the feeling that of being safely ensconced in a world on the precipice of transforming into something with more beauty and promise than the sweat-soaked days of summer ever could.